Transcript
#6 [00:00:22.06]
Okay, so when I was little I've been told a lot of stories I don't remember too much about it, but I was very close to my mom; like even when I was a baby, they would, she would be holding me and they give me to someone else and I would start to cry until they hand me back to her and then I would be fine and kind of growing up she would just be like my best friend; I was always with her, always doing things with her like I don't remember a memory before like the age of 7 where I wasn't with my mom and I wasn't happy doing something with her.
[00:01:23.25]
So, when I was 7 years old, I remember quite vividly for being such a young kid and I guess that makes sense because that was a quiet traumatizing experience; my mom died at the heart attack. And I remember the how it all unfolded and...I just remember seeing her collapsing and just kinda not know what was going on and my dad wasn't with us at the time and when he finally like showed up to where we were, like the ambulance would just come and somehow I don't even remember who called them but like my grandma was there, like my... my mom's siblings, my aunt, and uncle they were all there, and my aunt and uncles took me and my sisters back to our house and my dad and grandma went into the ambulance; remember where we would just... sitting on the couch watching the Olympics, it was in August, and I was... I think we were watching swimming. And I just remember the door opening and my dad coming inside and just... saying that she wasn't coming back. And... yeah...that's how I lost my mom.
[00:03:23.04]
So I definitely don't remember... not like exactly how I felt like when I found out it happened, all I just kind of remember was sitting on my grandma's lap in the kitchen and everyone would just like crying; but I remember like the days, like immediately like the days after like my whole personality just switched and I was just really shy, I was not talking to people, I was hiding in the house, like I remember my dad's brother and his wife and like their kids came out for the funeral and I remember we were all outside in the front yard and was playing with my neighbors and I saw a car coming down the road and I just like... I remember running into the house and just hiding in the house for like a half hour, not come out; So... I don't remember like my initial like feelings but definitely like after remember just closing myself up from the world, and... it's not really good for 7 years old because you are supposed to be making friends when you are 7, you are supposed to be a happy little child and... I wasn't anymore.
[00:05:29.09]
So... I don't think a person ever really helped me get over it like I've had really close friends, but I've never had that like one really really close friend that's...
#8 [00:00:11.26]
So... there was number one person who helped me kind of like get over my shyness or like move on from it, like I've always had close friends but I've never had that one friend who stuck by through like everything, for like years and years on and I think that's because I was such a shy child, where I didn't really develop close friendships when I was really young, but I remember the one thing that really started to help me get over my shyness was when I started to play sports. And mainly when I started to run. And... it was kind of funny because I used to hate running and one day my one friend had just convinced me to join cross-country with her and I was like okay, that sounds like fun, let's do it. And she never actually even ended up doing cross-country, but... another one of my friends did and we did it together and I just kind of found my outlets to running and...
[00:01:14.19]
I developed really close friendships through running and through track; a lot of them... I don't talk to them anymore, I don't talk to a lot of people, I don't go to high school anymore, but... couple people I do still talk to... one of them is my really close friend Kelcy and we bonded so quickly I think is because she also lost her parent; so we kinda have that... one thing in common that most people don't have in common with you, we kind of helped each other get through the tough moments that involved... you know, losing your parent.
[00:01:52.00]
But I think mainly running was the thing that helped me initially get over the shyness; but now, the thing that really really helped me because I had to stop running was going to concerts and... yes, me and my friends we are kind of addicted to going to concerts, I go quite often and that's where most of my money goes which is not good to save money; but...
[00:02:19.03]
I just found my happy place going to concerts, you just... you put me on the floor in a venue and I just... just feeling just overcomes you and I don't know exactly how to put it into words... I feel like you have to experience it to understand, but it's just you feel at home and you feel like... but you also feel like you are in another world, and then it's just an escape from a reality, like you can have the most stressful day like I remember one concert like... 2pm I was crying in my house because I've got into a fight with a family member and I just... like they just ruined my day and all of the concerts to go to but everything was just forgotten once I was there. And I also have a really easy time making friends when I'm at shows, I just kind of like... if I'm on line and you are like already in the venue it's kind of like look to my side and I see you a person and I'm like "Hi, let's be friends".
[00:03:23.22]
Yes... so the two things that really helped me get over it was running and then music and concerts.
#9 [00:00:40.24]
So... I definitely think it shaped me as a person... at first, I definitely think it had that negative effect on me, became really shy and everything but now I think I definitely just use it to become a stronger person, as like whenever something bad happens now I'm just like...well I know it's bad but I went through this horrible thing when I was 7 years old; like if I could get through that, I can get through... I can get through this.
[00:01:11.14]
And... it also with the being shy and not developing really really strong friendship, I kind of just learned how to get things done on my own and just not have to rely on people all the time, like I still definitely do feel that need for like another person's validation or like... when making decisions I can merely indecisive and I always want other, like input but like I've definitely become like a stronger, more independent person because of what happened.
#10 [00:00:17.19]
I don't think it really changed my view on the world because my mom died on the heart attack, so it wasn't like really any one's fault that she died, if anything it just changed me, like...I don't think my view changed really that much.
[00:00:35.04]
I just became scared of it, it didn't change in anyway, I was just scared of everything but I've gone over that now so my view of the world has changed a little bit but it's just like politics related, not really related to what happened to me when I was seven. Yeah.
Okay, so when I was little I've been told a lot of stories I don't remember too much about it, but I was very close to my mom; like even when I was a baby, they would, she would be holding me and they give me to someone else and I would start to cry until they hand me back to her and then I would be fine and kind of growing up she would just be like my best friend; I was always with her, always doing things with her like I don't remember a memory before like the age of 7 where I wasn't with my mom and I wasn't happy doing something with her.
[00:01:23.25]
So, when I was 7 years old, I remember quite vividly for being such a young kid and I guess that makes sense because that was a quiet traumatizing experience; my mom died at the heart attack. And I remember the how it all unfolded and...I just remember seeing her collapsing and just kinda not know what was going on and my dad wasn't with us at the time and when he finally like showed up to where we were, like the ambulance would just come and somehow I don't even remember who called them but like my grandma was there, like my... my mom's siblings, my aunt, and uncle they were all there, and my aunt and uncles took me and my sisters back to our house and my dad and grandma went into the ambulance; remember where we would just... sitting on the couch watching the Olympics, it was in August, and I was... I think we were watching swimming. And I just remember the door opening and my dad coming inside and just... saying that she wasn't coming back. And... yeah...that's how I lost my mom.
[00:03:23.04]
So I definitely don't remember... not like exactly how I felt like when I found out it happened, all I just kind of remember was sitting on my grandma's lap in the kitchen and everyone would just like crying; but I remember like the days, like immediately like the days after like my whole personality just switched and I was just really shy, I was not talking to people, I was hiding in the house, like I remember my dad's brother and his wife and like their kids came out for the funeral and I remember we were all outside in the front yard and was playing with my neighbors and I saw a car coming down the road and I just like... I remember running into the house and just hiding in the house for like a half hour, not come out; So... I don't remember like my initial like feelings but definitely like after remember just closing myself up from the world, and... it's not really good for 7 years old because you are supposed to be making friends when you are 7, you are supposed to be a happy little child and... I wasn't anymore.
[00:05:29.09]
So... I don't think a person ever really helped me get over it like I've had really close friends, but I've never had that like one really really close friend that's...
#8 [00:00:11.26]
So... there was number one person who helped me kind of like get over my shyness or like move on from it, like I've always had close friends but I've never had that one friend who stuck by through like everything, for like years and years on and I think that's because I was such a shy child, where I didn't really develop close friendships when I was really young, but I remember the one thing that really started to help me get over my shyness was when I started to play sports. And mainly when I started to run. And... it was kind of funny because I used to hate running and one day my one friend had just convinced me to join cross-country with her and I was like okay, that sounds like fun, let's do it. And she never actually even ended up doing cross-country, but... another one of my friends did and we did it together and I just kind of found my outlets to running and...
[00:01:14.19]
I developed really close friendships through running and through track; a lot of them... I don't talk to them anymore, I don't talk to a lot of people, I don't go to high school anymore, but... couple people I do still talk to... one of them is my really close friend Kelcy and we bonded so quickly I think is because she also lost her parent; so we kinda have that... one thing in common that most people don't have in common with you, we kind of helped each other get through the tough moments that involved... you know, losing your parent.
[00:01:52.00]
But I think mainly running was the thing that helped me initially get over the shyness; but now, the thing that really really helped me because I had to stop running was going to concerts and... yes, me and my friends we are kind of addicted to going to concerts, I go quite often and that's where most of my money goes which is not good to save money; but...
[00:02:19.03]
I just found my happy place going to concerts, you just... you put me on the floor in a venue and I just... just feeling just overcomes you and I don't know exactly how to put it into words... I feel like you have to experience it to understand, but it's just you feel at home and you feel like... but you also feel like you are in another world, and then it's just an escape from a reality, like you can have the most stressful day like I remember one concert like... 2pm I was crying in my house because I've got into a fight with a family member and I just... like they just ruined my day and all of the concerts to go to but everything was just forgotten once I was there. And I also have a really easy time making friends when I'm at shows, I just kind of like... if I'm on line and you are like already in the venue it's kind of like look to my side and I see you a person and I'm like "Hi, let's be friends".
[00:03:23.22]
Yes... so the two things that really helped me get over it was running and then music and concerts.
#9 [00:00:40.24]
So... I definitely think it shaped me as a person... at first, I definitely think it had that negative effect on me, became really shy and everything but now I think I definitely just use it to become a stronger person, as like whenever something bad happens now I'm just like...well I know it's bad but I went through this horrible thing when I was 7 years old; like if I could get through that, I can get through... I can get through this.
[00:01:11.14]
And... it also with the being shy and not developing really really strong friendship, I kind of just learned how to get things done on my own and just not have to rely on people all the time, like I still definitely do feel that need for like another person's validation or like... when making decisions I can merely indecisive and I always want other, like input but like I've definitely become like a stronger, more independent person because of what happened.
#10 [00:00:17.19]
I don't think it really changed my view on the world because my mom died on the heart attack, so it wasn't like really any one's fault that she died, if anything it just changed me, like...I don't think my view changed really that much.
[00:00:35.04]
I just became scared of it, it didn't change in anyway, I was just scared of everything but I've gone over that now so my view of the world has changed a little bit but it's just like politics related, not really related to what happened to me when I was seven. Yeah.
Comments
Post a Comment